The subject of inheritance is one that most people studiously avoid for a number of different reasons: superstition, fear, lack of knowledge, or a desire for secrecy.
Many adults were raised to believe that money was a private affair, and that talking about it was inappropriate; but beyond that, many people simply fear that if they talk about their estate plan with their heirs they will meet with resistance, disagreement, or in a worst-case scenario—their heirs will try to counter the estate plan with legal action of their own.
While in some families and circumstances these fears are justified, in most circumstances being silent about your estate plan can have disastrous consequences.
A refusal to talk about money or your estate plans with you children means that they will have a difficult time following your wishes in regards to your medical treatment or protection of your assets should disaster strike. Most adult children are actually eager to fulfill their parents’ last wishes, regardless of how it may or may not impact their own inheritance.
Furthermore, your plans for leaving a legacy for your children or grandchildren may clash with their own needs or plans.
For example, you may want to leave extra money to a grandchild with special needs, but if that child is receiving government benefits, leaving a significant inheritance in their own name could disrupt that. Discussing your plans with your children ahead of time can prevent situations like this from occurring.
So the answer to the question above is yes, you should talk to your children or heirs about your estate plan if you can. Talking about it will not only make it easier for them to follow your wishes, it may even help you determine how you want to make the best difference in the lives of your heirs.